Heart Matter – Parenting

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Becoming a parent is one thing that changes our lives forever and some days it all just seems to be too much. 

Wherever we look there is advice coming from every direction. And what is right one week may not be the right thing to do next week! Then we are to build “partnerships” with parents in our work as well. Sounds like a complicated job.

I remember as a young mum that I always worried about getting it wrong, then one day a dear friend said “don’t worry so much. God is the perfect father and even He has problems with His children!” That certainly put things in perspective. And that is the hope we can share with the all parents we meet and work with, whether as friends, in church or at work.  We get it wrong, we make mistakes but we have a great God who refuses to condemn us.

Of course there are the times when our children won’t eat the meal we worked so hard to cook, they seem to constantly fight with their brothers or sisters, or they have a tantrum in the shop……again! It can feel exhausting and we feel such failures. And then we see other mums and dads who seem to have everything worked out and never have a bad day. Before we know it we are worn out and convinced we are useless parents.

But our loving Father never tells us to work harder, to try to be better, to strive and wear ourselves out.

His call to us, to our heart,  is to “be still” and know that He is God. He calls us to seek Him, follow Him and rest with Him. Ok, that might not seem easy in our busy family lives but we can make the time we need to draw aside. For me this was always time in the garden. For others it is dog walking or the early morning just before everyone is up and about. And this isn’t about “me time” so much as being “Him and me time”.

Because that’s where the heart of this lies. God never thinks of us as a bad parent – He delights in us. And in the end, it is all about Him. His amazing grace, His love for us, and His unfailing faithfulness.  And even more amazing, His new and unending mercies, freely available to us every day.

So will quiet time alone  with God suddenly transform our children into angelic beings who behave perfectly? No, but it means we have the strength and faith to go through the tricky days, knowing His love and care for our children is beyond all we could ask or imagine.

He truly delights in us, He truly is faithful. And we can show His love and care for the parents He brings across our path.  Maybe it is time to be honest about the challenges we face, and thankful for His provision and grace. This could be the greatest way to show His love to other parents. They might not believe in Him, but  we can show that He believes in them. We can share that, even on the difficult days, we all have a loving Father who says “you’re doing a great job”.

Our Abba, Father,  is on our side, and He REALLY understands what it is like to have challenging children !

Psalm 40:2-3 – You “pulled me from a lonely pit full of mud and mire.  You let me stand on a rock with my feet firm, and you gave me a new song, a song of praise to you. Many will see this, and they will honour and trust you, the LORD God.”


Tales of Adventure, Risk and Stormy Seas

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After our very first visit to the New Wine Summer camp as a new Christian family, the car journey home was full of singing.

Captain Alan Price had made an impression that would never be forgotten as we heartily sang “It’s an adventure following Jesus. It’s an adventure learning from him”.

Those days were our first introduction to life in the Spirit and the joy that came from knowing we were blessed, loved, accepted, forgiven and set free. But… if we thought that also meant comfortable and cosy then nothing could be further from the truth. For a start, there were now songs forever imprinted on our memories that even 30 years cannot erase. Thanks Captain Alan! When we were finally tired of singing about adventure, then there was no stopping our two children from launching into:

“Life is like a big wide ocean
And we’re sailing the ocean with Jesus our friend
The journey is long and the weather uncertain
But Jesus is with us from beginning to end”

So, where am I going with these thoughts. Our initial encounters with the Holy Spirit were wonderful and freeing, but as the bible says: “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit”. John 3:8 NIV

If we had any plans about how life should look in the next few years they were soon set aside as we set out on the “big wide ocean”. As a lover of the Shipping Forecast (BBC Radio 4),  I should have known that when the wind picks up then we should be ready to set the mainsail and make way.  My desire to batten down the hatches might have felt safe and secure, but God’s call involved risking it all for His purposes.

Living in Wiltshire, we’d chosen the schools for our children, found a house we adored and made good friends in our church.  Life was settled and calm. Then along came that wind, blowing and disturbing everything. Blowing just where it pleased. And blowing us across the country – new schools, new church, Bible College and ministry. No home to call our own (that was a tough one), and no work to go to.

It all felt like being tossed around on a stormy ocean that would never settle. Our time there was one of responding to many changes that felt like “southerly 4 or 5, perhaps gale 8 later”. We became part of teams that ministered in immigration detention centres, we struggled with personal grief through untimely loss, and we travelled to countries we never imagined we would visit.

Yet through it all God did wonderful things.

And that place became home. We chose schools for the children, found a house we adored, and made good friends at our church. Life was good and the ocean was calm. (Have we been here before?)

Then came that wind, filling the sails, building up the waves and churning up everything. This time blowing us back to where we started – I never saw that coming! We don’t have to find schools this time, we do have a house we adore and we once again making new friends in our church. And? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Jesus the greatest risk taker. Jesus the captain of our ship. Jesus the adventurer and guide.  He is the one leading the way. Risky? Yes! Scary? Frequently. Worth every challenge? Without doubt.

So, have fun on whatever adventure you are currently on, and let those little children climb, run, fall, get up, jump in puddles, get wet and sing loudly. Why?

Because that’s how they are learning that “life’s an adventure”. They are getting a little bit of practice at taking risks so they are ready. Who knows where the wind will blow them in the future? Wherever they go, it may be difficult and it may be risky but He will never leave them and never forsake them. The general synopsis?

There are warnings of adventure and risk in all areas of Kingdom life. Fasten the lifejackets, man the rigging, let’s get this ship afloat!


Train Up A Child..

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Train up a child…

This is such a well known verse and is perhaps the aim of many of our Christian nurseries and preschools around the country.

I love the photo of the two boys running off as there, just ahead, is a corner. We cannot see what is just around there. There is a mystery that we cannot solve!

Isn’t that like our aims with nurturing our youngest children? We do not know where God will lead them or where their path will go, but we pray that God will always be at the centre of their lives and decisions. How can we help to “train them”?

Much of what we do daily impacts them and show them God’s nature in action. How we are with each other, with families and with our little children will be a living demonstration of who God is, how He sees them and the plans He has for them.

Children playing in a Christian nursery have the wonderful opportunity to see God’s life and love in action daily. Their image of their heavenly Father will be influenced for ever by the atmosphere around them and the words of truth they hear. Be encouraged. You may have unsaved families and children who seem far away from God, but you are the ones who set the spiritual atmosphere in your nurseries.

You lead the way by example, by love and by faith. Never feel that what you are doing will not work. Be encouraged in the Lord. You are working with the word of God. Be confident. As you walk with Him and look to Him, as you expect help from Him, He will never fail you. He is training up those little children. It may be that you never see around that corner; never see where their lives go, but they are changed forever by being with you and in the daily presence of God.

Be encouraged – you are making a difference, a difference that will last for eternity!